Nightmares and Daydreams
by HopefulSorrow
Summary: The betrayl of one of his only friends has left Sajin Komamura feeling more hurt and alone than ever. Will his fear of being hurt again cause him to lose his chance for love? Komamura/OC. Summary sucks; read it anyway, please. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Betrayed

**AN: OK, so this is my first story ever. Read, enjoy, review. Please and thank you. **

**Disclamer: I own nothing. If I did, Sajin would be getting a lot more screen time on Bleach. As it is, I can do nothing. Also, the title of the story is from Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I also do not own. (Did I do that right? Like I said, new to this, still learning)**

Chapter 1: Betrayed

His world was on fire. Everything burned.

He closed his eyes against it. The flames licked across every inch of him, leaving him breathless.

Everything was growing dark. He was going to be burned alive.

And he had never wanted anything more.

…

Sajin Komamura sighed heavily as he signed yet another transfer paper. Things had been difficult enough this month without all of the recent transfers.

His best (only, if he were honest with himself) friend, Kaname Tousen had defected from the Soul Society along with Souske Aizen and Gin Ichimaru. Sajin felt betrayed both professionally and personally.

The aftermath of Aizen's defection was devastating. All of the captains, lieutenants, and higher ranking officers were struggling with all of the extra paperwork, not to mention the added stress from the looming Winter War. Even worse, everyone had to deal with the grief caused to the three squads who had to deal with the fact that their captains were traitors.

Sajin realized he had been staring at the same line on the form he was reading for several minutes now. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. It was yet another request for transfer.

Sajin could not say he blamed them. After all, who would want to be led into the upcoming war by a monster such as himself?

Sajin Komamura was the perfectly hideous blend of man and wolf. He had tried to hide this fact from the world, but his appearance had been revealed when Captain Kenpachi Zaraki of squad 11 had destroyed his helmet. By the time he was given an opportunity to conceal himself once again it was already too late. Everyone knew and one of the only people who had never judged him for his appearance was gone.

Of course, people still treated him respectfully to his face. He could not pretend he did not hear what they said when they thought he was not listening, though. He also could not deny the obvious reason for recent rise in transfers from his division. Even his third seat had been unable to stay under the command of the monster captain.

A light knock on the door snapped him out of his thoughts. "Come in," he called.

The door slid open to reveal Tetzuezaemon Iba, lieutenant of squad 7. "Sir," he said bowing respectfully, "I have come to help you prepare for your meeting."

Sajin cursed inwardly. He had forgotten that all captains, lieutenants, and third seats had meetings today.

"Is something the matter, Captain?" Lieutenant Iba asked.

"Nothing that you can fix, Tetzuezaemon," the weary captain replied.

The walk to the first division headquarters was something Sajin used to enjoy. It was a leisurely few moments he had alone to just think. Now, however, he could only think of all of the stares he received as he passed through the crowded streets. Sajin resisted the urge to run.

Several grueling minutes later he reached his destination.

Sajin looked to where the third seats were gathered before they were let into their meeting room. _Wait_, he thought. _There is someone here from my squad._

"Tetzuezaemon," he called to the lieutenant, who was already headed toward his own group. "We have a third seat now?" He felt completely idiotic asking such a question.

"Yes, Captain. She was a transfer from the ninth. She passed the test; she almost beat me. I thought, since you were so preoccupied, it might be alright to let her have the position, at least until you can review her yourself." He bowed deeply. "My apologies, sir, I should have consulted you first."

"It is fine, Tetzuezaemon. Calm down. I have been acting rather strangely recently. In the future, please consult me first." Sajin looked into the group and tried to figure out which one was his new third seat. "Bring her by my office tomorrow morning."

"Yes, sir." With another bow, Iba went off to join the other lieutenants.

**AN: So there it was. Love it, hate it, want to burn it and dance on the ashes? Let me know! Remember, I am still quite new to this whole experience, so any helpful ideas or explanations of fanfic terms would be most appreciated (but please be nice. i am a humble nerd who only wishes to write and live in peace). **


	2. Surprised

Chapter 2: Surprised

Sajin blinked. He was not entirely sure he had heard correctly.

In fact, all of the captains seemed to currently be in a state of shock. Some were pleasantly surprised, others… not so much.

Head Captain Yammamoto had just announced that he was throwing a party. Not just any party, though. He was hosting a formal ball for the captains and officers of Sereitei, plus all of the members of the noble families of the Rukongai. He said he had hopes that it would alleviate tensions over the upcoming war. More importantly, it would help to boost patronage from the rich noble families.

"Is it mandatory to attend?" Mayuri Kurotsuchi sneered. "I have matters of actual importance to attend to."

"In fact, it is mandatory. No exceptions," the head captain barked.

"Lighten up, Mayuri," Shunsui Kyouraku, captain of squad eight, said lazily.

"He's just afraid all of his makeup will melt off if he starts dancing," Captain Zaraki taunted.

Before Mayuri could react, the head captain spoke up. "This meeting is not over." Everyone fell silent. "There is another reason we are having this ball. It is the same reason the lieutenants and third seats are also having meetings, so that they will be aware of this change as well."

The silence as he paused was thick. Sajin immediately wondered what had gone wrong now. By the dark expressions on some of the other captains' faces, he was not alone in this.

The head captain laced his fingers in front of his face. "Long before the situation with Aizen, Central 46 had been discussing a new law. Or, should I say, the dissolution of an old law. For the next few weeks, beginning with the ball, personal relationships of the romantic nature between captains and their subordinates will not only be allowed, but it is encouraged. I do stress that you should refrain from any… casual relationships. Only pursue it if you believe it has a chance of lasting, for the sake of your professional relationship. I would like to start this little experiment with each of you attending the ball with your most direct subordinate with who you find attraction."

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" Toshiro Hitsuguya, captain of squad ten, asked.

"For example, Shunsui." The man in the pink haori peered up from under his straw hat. "You should ask your Lieutenant, Miss Ise, to attend the ball with you. If she refuses or you find you have no attraction to her," someone in the room snorted at that, "then you should ask the next female officer below her. If you run out of officers, ask someone from another squad, starting once again with lieutenant."

"What if we have no interest in becoming romantically involved?" Byakuya Kuchki asked in his usual stoic manner.

"Each of you must attend with one of the officers. What you do with the relationship after that is up to the two of you." He surveyed the other captains. "The ball will be three weeks from now. Dismissed." The captains began to file out of the room. "Oh, and one last thing. The lieutenants and third seats were made aware of the situation for a reason. They have an opportunity now to invite you themselves. Or they may use this time to find a heavy book with which to decline."

Everyone looked at Shunsui who sniffled. "It is the way my little Nanao tells me she loves me."

Sajin felt more depressed than he had this morning. It seems fate had found yet another way to shove it in his face how utterly alone he was.


	3. Introduced

**Disclamer: I do not own Bleach or its characters.**

Chapter 3: Introduced

Takara Yoshida was not what Sajin had been expecting.

The young woman standing before him was as beautiful as she was talented. She had mesmerizing golden eyes and hair just a shade darker. She reminded Sajin of a lioness. She was graceful and lithe as she sparred with Lieutenant Iba, every twist of her body looking so effortless. The entire time, her lips were parted in a lazy smile.

"Well, Captain Komamura," Takara purred when they had finished, "do I meet your qualifications?"

Sajin swallowed, suddenly uneasy. "Why don't we go into my office to discuss it?"

He led the way back inside. In the hallways, he heard several catcalls from his squad members as they passed Takara.

"You certainly seem to be qualified for the position," the captain said when they were situated behind the closed doors of his office. "However, I would like to give you a trial period to be sure you are suited for the other aspects of this position."

"Of course, captain." Her voice sent chills up Sajin's spine.

Sajin had to force himself to concentrate on what he was saying. "Tetzuzaemon will show you to your room. You will not be given your duties until tomorrow. For now, just try to get adjusted. Feel free to ask one of us if you need anything. The Seventh is your home now."

Another dazzling smile. "Thank you, Captain Komamura, for this opportunity."

"Wow," Iba said when he returned. "She is something. You should ask her to the ball."

Sajin looked at his lieutenant. "Do you believe she would say yes?"

Iba paused, considering, and then replied, "Well, Captain, she did personally request a transfer to your squad. If that is not a good sign, I don't know what is. Besides, sir, did you _see _her?" He let out a low whistle. He looked at his captain and nodded enthusiastically. "You should go for it. Sir."

Sajin hesitated, and then nodded. After all, the worst that could happen was that she would say no. "Should I do it now?"

Iba shook his head. "Women like Takara Yoshida want to be swept off of their feet with romantic gestures of love before committing to a man, especially with such a formal event as a ball."

Sajin raised a furry eyebrow. "That sounded like something straight out of a self-help book." Iba blushed. _Apparently I'm not too far off,_ Sajin thought. "Would you be willing to help me try to win her over?" he said aloud.

Iba's blush deepened. "Sorry, Captain. You wouldn't want to use any of my techniques on her. They work only if your goal is to get slapped. Maybe you should ask someone like Captain Kyoraku. Or, even better, ask his lieutenant."

Sajin was still unsure about the whole endeavor even as he knocked on the door to the Eighth's main office.

"Come in," a female voice answered. Sajin was not surprised to find Nanao Ise, Shunsui's lieutenant, behind her captain's desk. It was rumored that she did all of the paperwork, even that which was far above her station. No one ever said anything because it was the only way the eighth squad was able to stay afloat.

The bespectacled woman did not look up but continued reading the paper she had in her hands. "May I help you, Captain Komamura?" she said pleasantly as she signed the form.

Sajin cleared his throat. "Perhaps. May I sit?" How strange, a captain feeling the need to ask permission from a lieutenant just to sit down.

"Just lay the papers down anywhere," Nanao said, gesturing toward a chair across from her.

Sajin did as he was told. He watched the woman work, wondering if he should continue. A moment later, however, she put down her pen and looked at the wolf captain attentively.

_Why do I suddenly feel like the bad child called into the principal's office?_ Sajin wondered. He coughed once as he cleared his thoughts. "It is a rather personal matter, of a romantic nature."

Nanao looked surprised. She pushed her glasses up with one slender finger. "Perhaps it is a subject better suited to my captain than me, sir."

"Actually, I was thinking that a woman's view would be more appropriate in this situation." Nanao nodded for him to continue. He hastily explained the situation.

Sajin saw the serious lieutenant smile slightly. "Would I be wasting my breath to say 'just be yourself'?" Sajin said nothing. "Right," she continued. A wistful look came over her face. "I am afraid I cannot help you, Captain Komamura, but I believe I know someone who can."

**AN: Call me ignorant, but would someone please explain the difference between OC and OOC? *smiles sheepishly* I hope you are enjoying the fic, and I will try to keep updates coming as quickly as possible. **


	4. Helpful

**Disclamer: I do not own Bleach or its characters.**

Chapter 4: Helpful

He had gone to the eighth division for advice only to be referred back to his own division.

The sun was low in the sky as Sajin headed back to the seventh. He entered the barracks where his squad members lived. He made his way down the hallway until he was standing in front the door to his fifth seat's door. He knocked gently.

There was no answer at first, so he knocked a little more loudly.

Suddenly there was a crash within the room, followed by a loud thud. He heard footsteps followed by another smaller thud. The door slid open.

The fifth seat was a woman. She was tiny (but who wasn't compared to him?) but a good fighter. That was all he could remember about her. He wished he could remember her name instead.

Her mouth dropped a little when she saw who was at her door. Then she hurried to bow and invite him in, apologizing profusely for the clutter.

"How may I be of assistance, Captain?" she said as she cleared a place for him to sit. The room was filled with papers, books, clothes, and countless knickknacks that Sajin was not even sure he had names for. The flustered woman threw them all out of the way. Only one thing did she pick up gently; it was some kind of musical instrument, maybe a violin.

"I needed to ask a favor of you," Sajin said. She paused in her flurry of activity, eyes wide. "I would like for you to help me win the affections of our new third seat, Takara Yoshida."

Sajin watched as her face fell. Whatever she had been expecting him to ask, it was not this.

"Oh," she said, pushing the hair out of her eyes. "Well, I think I can manage that, sir."

Sajin sighed, relieved. He had been afraid that she would turn him away. "Would you mind keeping it a secret as well?" She nodded. "Thank you, um…"

She smiled sadly as she realized that he had forgotten her name. Sajin felt a pang of guilt and promised himself to give the poor girl a bonus for all of this later. "Amaya Mochizuki."

"Amaya. Forgive me, I just- " He stopped before he said something to upset her further. He decided it was time for a change in subject. "I heard a crash in here when I knocked." He let the unspoken question hang for a moment.

Amaya gave him a lopsided grin. "I tripped," she admitted. "Done in by my own junk. I tend to forget where everything is right after I wake up."

"I did not mean to wake you."

Amaya waved a hand. "Think nothing of it, Captain. I just needed a quick nap. I haven't been sleeping well at night, it seems." She shrugged.

"While you are helping me, you may call me Sajin if you wish." Sajin cringed inwardly; he sounded pretentious even to himself.

Amaya did not seem to notice. She smiled at him. "Sajin," she said as if trying the word out. It sounded nice coming from her. She giggled. "It makes me feel as if I am doing something wrong."

Sajin smiled. "Not at all. For now, you are my teacher and therefore allowed to call me whatever you wish."

"I guess I should actually teach you something first." Amaya blushed as her stomach growled loudly. "First, though, we get dinner."

Sajin blanched. "I am really not that hungry."

Amaya looked at him oddly. "Are you sure? I know this private little place with a great view and decent food." When he still hesitated, she looked at him pleadingly.

"Lead the way," he answered finally. The smile she gave him almost diminished the worry he was suddenly feeling.

**AN: Amaya's appearance is not really described in detail until later, but if you need a mental image, she is about 5'6", black, waist length hair with long bangs that continually to fall into her face, grey eyes. Some random website I found told me that Amaya means "night rain" and Takara means "treasure." If this is incorrect, my bad. **


	5. Disgusted

**Disclamer: I do not own Bleach or its characters.**

Chapter 5: Disgusted

Amaya was right about one thing: the place she took him had a beautiful view.

She had led him into the forest a little ways. He had asked her if she was leading him deeper in so that no one would hear his screams when she killed him.

To his surprise, she actually laughed. "As if I could take you down even if I wanted to."

They had reached their destination a few moments later. It was a place where the trees cleared and a river flowed. Amaya had spread out a blanket on the ground, and then laid out a simple meal of raw fruits, bread, and cheese.

It came to the moment Sajin had been dreading. "I don't think I can do this."

Amaya looked up at him, clearly confused. He tried to explain. "I am unable to eat in what most people would call a 'civilized manner'."

Amaya relaxed. "You don't have to worry about that. Look." She motioned toward the setting sun, which could barely be seen in an opening through the trees, which had already disappeared behind the horizon. Only the fading light that trailed behind it was left. "Besides," she said so quietly he had to strain to hear it, "you should not have to worry about what people will think, especially when you are just being you."

They sat in the quiet for a minute. After chastising himself (really, a captain who fought hollows on a weekly basis, afraid of being seen eating), Sajin picked up a piece of bread. He eyed it for a minute before putting it in his mouth and carefully beginning to chew. He did not look at Amaya until he was completely finished chewing and swallowing.

The smile on her face was almost imperceptible, but it was there.

"Now," she said as she began put food onto two plates, "how much experience do you have with women?"

"Not much at all," he was embarrassed to admit. Looking the way he did, women did not exactly flock to him.

"That's fine. Better even. We get a clean slate." She paused to pop a piece of fruit into her mouth. "I am going to be your practice dummy. Behave as you would if this were an actual date."

Silence. Amaya looked at him. "Alright, scratch that. Behave as if we were just two old friends having a nice conversation."

So for the next hour, that was what he did. He carried on the longest conversation he ever had with a woman outside of work. He had to admit, it was nice. He could feel himself relax with each passing second. He even managed to get Amaya to laugh a couple of times. Even though Sajin figured she just laughed to be kind, it still made him feel more comfortable.

It was now completely dark. The only lights were the moon and stars overhead and the thousands of fireflies surrounding them.

"Would something this romantic be appropriate for a first date?" Sajin asked.

"Most women would be overjoyed with this as a first date. It kind of sets the tone for the rest of the relationship."

Sajin nodded. He saw Amaya lift her chin as a cool autumn breeze swept around them. A lock of hair fell into her face. Without thinking , Sajin reached out and brushed it back behind her ear.

Amaya looked so surprised that he asked quietly, "Was that wrong?"

She shook her head. "Perfect, actually," she replied just as quietly. "She would like that, I'm sure," she added as an afterthought.

"What would I do now?"

Amaya moved the plates out of the way. She slid along the blanket until she was close beside him, close enough that he could feel the warmth as it left her body.

"If she gets closer to you like this," she whispered, "it means that she wants to be held."

Sajin put an arm around Amaya's shoulders and pulled her closer. Her head rested against his chest. "Then?"

Amaya pushed herself deeper into his side. "Bring yourself closer to her. If she turns to face you," she demonstrated, "you can try to kiss her. Lean in slowly, to give her time to back away if she chooses."

Sajin and Amaya sat that way for only a heartbeat before they pulled away and headed back to the seventh and in their separate directions, Amaya grinning and commending Sajin on his excelent skills as a student.

But it was that one heartbeat that Sajin would think of later, when he could not help but notice the way Amaya looked at him, without fear or disgust in her shining eyes.

**AN: Some of you may be thinking that was kind of fluffy (hope that's the right term for it :/). Honestly, though, if in that very same situation with someone like Sajin, you sure wouldn't be hearing me complain. Please leave a comment, or no moonlit dinners with wolfie captains for you. Can you tell I'm having too much fun with this? :3**


	6. Plaugued

**Disclamer: I do not own Bleach or its characters.**

***Warning: Lemons ahead.***

Chapter 6: Plagued

It was that night that the nightmares began.

_He was standing by the river, the rush of the water the only sound for miles. He was waiting; for what, he did not know. _

_A shadow moved through the water. Sajin's ears swiveled forward, but the woman made no noise as she stepped out of the water. He licked his lips as the water rolled off of her body. The single undergarment that covered her clung to her, hiding nothing. _

_She looked at Sajin with seductive eyes. He needed no other invitation. _

_He lifted her up, her legs wrapping around him and their lips locking. His tongue forced its way into her mouth, and he could tell that she had given complete dominance over to him. _

_He carried her to the rocks that rose up beside a huge waterfall, then pressed her back against the least jagged surface. With one arm he supported her; with the other he de-clothed her. His own clothes were unceremoniously ripped away. _

_He continued to plunder her mouth with his tongue while his hands plundered the rest of her body. She whimpered several times when his rough hands touched a particularly sensitive area. _

_Finally he could stand no more. He rocked his hips, forcing his hard member inside of her. He delighted in the way she screamed and dug her claws into his shoulders. It awoke within him a primal urge, a need to be deeper inside her. He pushed forward, harder and faster with each stroke. He ignored the tears rolling down her face, needing only to satisfy the growing need inside him. _

_At the moment that he came inside her, he bit her neck. Hard. Her body went limp and slid down the rock face when he released her, leaving a trail of red behind her. Her now sightless eyes stared at him accusingly. _

'_Monstrous is as monstrous does,' a bodiless voice echoed in his mind. 'Nothing you do will ever make you anything but a monster.'_

_The voice was right, and the ravaged body before him was proof. He let out a long, inhuman howl. _

Sajin's eyes flew open. He sat up in bed, gasping and panting. His fur was plastered to him with sweat, something he rarely did even under the most extreme conditions. He stared down at his hands, which were shaking. He stayed that way for what felt like hours but may have only been seconds until his hands were no longer shaking.

A quick, cold shower relieved him of the last visible traces of the nightmare. Inside, he was still shaken up. He lay back down in his bed, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep and forget the incident had ever happened.

_I would never do that,_ he repeated to himself like a mantra right up until the moment that his eyes shut as he fell into a shallow, but thankfully dreamless, sleep.

**AN: I hope you enjoyed. Thank you for reading, and reviews are always appreciated! Let me know if you would like more or less lemons in the future.**


	7. Exhausted

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or its characters, just my own OC's. **

Chapter 7: Exhausted

As sometimes happens, Sajin's dream was forgotten by the next morning. He was aware that he had had a dream, or nightmare, as the case was, but the details kept slipping away from him. Eventually he gave up trying to remember. He hoped that it might come to him later.

The entire matter was pushed from his mind as Third Seat Yoshida entered the office with Lieutenant Iba.

"Good morning, Captain," they both greeted.

He nodded his greeting. "We are going to watch the squad members train this morning," he explained to Takara. "It is the job of the officers to assist the unranked Shinigami of their squad in any way they can, as well as make sure nobody gets killed."

Takara nodded. "I was a low-ranking officer in the ninth. We usually just trained with the unranked Shinigami while the high-ranking officers watched or trained amongst themselves."

Today it ended up that the officers sparred while everyone else in the squad, including Sajin himself, watched. Takara had suggested it.

"It always helps me to watch someone else perform a technique if I have trouble with it," she had said when one young man tried and failed repeatedly to effectively spar with anyone else without nearly decapitating them every time. It started out with just Takara and the lieutenant sparring and the immeadiate crowd watching. But eventually the figherts had dwindled and the crowd grown until only the officers were left fighting. Every few minutes they would trade sparring partners. Sajin watched as the group of fighters began to dwindle until only two remained: Takara and Amaya.

The two women carried on a short conversation, then began to fight. Takara had the same lazy smile that she always wore on her face; Amaya had a determined look that bordered on angry.

The fight lasted longer than any other had that day. Sometime during the first few moments, the squad members had begun cheering and rooting for their favorite. Some even yelled out advice as the fighting became more intense.

Sajin felt as though he were watching a dance rather than a fight. Takara was direct and languid in her movements; Amaya was indirect and swift. Their swords glittered dangerously in the sunlight. Each woman seemed entirely intent on killing the other.

"Do you think we should stop them?" Sajin asked Iba.

"I'm not sure we could," his lieutenant replied.

The battle ended abruptly. Takara stood as the victor. She offered a hand to Amaya, who was crouched down clutching her side. Whatever Takara said to Amaya at that moment was lost in the cheers of the entire seventh squad. Sajin stood and went to commend them on an excellent training session.

Amaya looked at him. The look she gave him caused Sajin to pause where he stood. Was it his imagination, or were there tears in her eyes? The members of his squad milled around the two women, blocking them from Sajin's view. When he was finally able to get to where they had been standing, Amaya was already gone.

Sajin felt a hand on his arm. "Did you enjoy the show, Captain Komamura?" Takara purred. She looked up at him from under her heavy eyelashes alluringly.

"You performed very well," Sajin said. "What were you and Amaya talking about earlier, if you do not mind me asking?"

Takara laughed. It sounded…strange to Sajin. It felt void of emotion. "It was just girl talk. I would not worry if I were you."

"Do you know where she went?"

Takara looked annoyed. Just as quickly as it had appeared the expression vanished. "I do not have the slightest idea," she said. She smiled. _The cat who caught the canary,_ Sajin thought.

Sajin and Takara were caught up in the throng of the crowd. Someone, maybe Iba, mentioned something about finding a bar in which to celebrate Takara's excellent first day on the job. But Sajin was not really listening.

He just hoped Amaya was alright, wherever she had drifted off to.

**AN: Yay, another chapter! I am really getting into this. I have never had so much fun before! Yeah, I'm a nerd, but I'm a happy nerd. :P**


	8. Cold

**Disclaimer: I only own my OC's, not Bleach.**

Chapter 8: Cold

Sajin did not see Amaya again until late the next day. He had been worried. Seeing her now did not alleviate that worry.

He found her sitting under one of the trees in the gardens a short distance from the seventh division. She was practically hidden in the bushes. Her legs were pulled up to her chest, her face buried in her arms.

"Amaya," he called out to her. She did not lift her head as he approached. Sajin kneeled and placed a hand on her shoulder.

She looked up at him. Sajin immediately noticed the dark circles under her eyes. "I still haven't been sleeping very well, sir," Amaya said weakly.

The sound of her voice, so lifeless, shocked Sajin. "I'm taking you to the fourth," he said and moved to pick her up.

Amaya shook her head. "I'm fine. Really, I am." She smiled, but it looked more like a grimace to Sajin. "Besides, I am supposed to be giving you lady wooing lessons, remember? Though I'm not entirely sure why; you seem to be doing perfectly fine on your own."

She stood slowly, a hand on her side. "Is that from the fight yesterday?" Sajin asked, his concern for her resurfacing.

Amaya noticed his concerned expression. The smile she gave him seemed a little more genuine. "It is fine, sir."

"I still think you should see Lady Unohana. I could always order you to go," he said, only partly joking.

"You would have to drag me away kicking and screaming first," Amaya said. Sajin must have looked surprised, because she sniffed indignantly and continued, "Needles freak me out."

Sajin pictured it: picking Amaya up, people staring as she yelled and beat on his chest, and then Amaya fighting even harder to get away from the healers as they approached her with a tiny silver needle. He chuckled deeply at the image.

Amaya blushed. A crack of thunder overhead drowned out her response.

Both looked up at the sky. The angry clouds rolled overhead. Funny, Sajin had not even realized it was cloudy until now. A raindrop fell from the sky and hit him on the nose. Amaya giggled as he snorted.

Amaya gasped as the rain began pouring, almost instantaneously soaking them both. Sajin laughed at her expression.

Amaya laughed as well. She threw back her head and outstretched her hands, palms up. She closed her eyes and allowed the rain to wash over her face. Sajin felt himself smiling in a way that he had not for a long time. He felt… at peace.

Amaya grinned wildly at him. "Will you come do something with me?"

Sajin was surprised at how easily he agreed.

Amaya led him to the porch. He waited for her under the overhang. She returned a moment later carrying the violin he had seen in her room that first night.

"I have always believed that hands that kill should also be able to create," Amaya said as she tuned the instrument. "That is why I started playing the violin. Now, my dear Sajin, just for you, may I present a concert of rain with accompaniment by violin."

Amaya played for him then. The song was sad and soothing at the same time. Sajin closed his eyes and could imagine that the rain was singing a lullaby for the crying violin.

He watched her as she played, her eyes closed, a smile on her face that reflected everything Sajin was feeling at that moment.

Sajin and Amaya both caught colds from sitting around in their wet clothes in the cold for so long, but neither of them ever complained.

**AN: Once I got caught in a storm like this. It started out with on raindrop, and then I saw a wall of rain headed straight toward me. I was soaked in seconds. And that was my random inspiration story of the day. Please stay tuned for more updates. **


	9. Confused

**Disclaimer: Only my OC's have come from the jumbled inner workings of my mind; the rest does not belong to me, no matter how I wish otherwise. **

Chapter 9: Confused

Two weeks later

Sajin felt as though he were living a double life.

His days were spent almost entirely with Takara, whether they were in the office or in other parts of the Seireitei. Once he had heard that being around a person you are interested in romantically makes you nervous. He felt something when he was with Takara, but it felt more akin to unease than nerves.

His evenings were spent with Amaya. She continued to teach him "the ways of wooing," as she put it. Sometimes they talked for hours. Other times they spent in comfortable silence. Sajin was comfortable around Amaya in a way he had never been comfortable with anyone before, not even Kaname. And that scared him.

Takara and Amaya were as different in appearances as they were in personality. Takara was like the sun, shining with her golden, striking beauty. Amaya was like the moon, glowing with a more modest beauty that was only a faint reflection of her stunning personality.

Amaya truly was beautiful. She may not have been as well endowed as women such as Takara, but there was an undeniable attractive quality to her dancer's physique. Sajin found himself wondering why he had not noticed her before.

The most prominent physical difference between the two women was their eyes. Takara's eyes were like those of a deadly predator. They were always cold and focused. Amaya's eyes were always full of emotion. They were grey, the exact color of the sea after a storm. Depending on her mood, Sajin fancied he saw traces of green or blue in her eyes. Also, Amaya's eyes sometimes took on a far-off, distracted look.

"Amaya?" Sajin called softly to her one evening for the third time.

Finally she looked at him. "Sorry, Sajin. I spaced out there for a minute."

"What were you thinking about just now?" he asked her.

A moment's pause before she replied quietly, "You."

"M-me?" Strange, he had never stuttered before.

"I was wondering, since things are going so well, when you were planning to ask Takara to the ball."

Sajin inhaled sharply. "I suppose I should do it as soon as possible. I just have no idea _how_ I am going to ask."

Amaya quirked one side of her lips upward. "That is what you have me for. Pretend I am Takara. Now, ask me to the ball."

Sajin cleared his throat. "Will you go to the ball with me?" Amaya just looked at him. "Will you do me the great honor of attending the ball with me?" Amaya still did not move. "Go to the ball with me. My heart will simply refuse to beat if you will not." This was said in the most dramatic manner he could muster. He even got down on one knee and took her hands into his.

Amaya broke down and laughed. "What woman can refuse begging?" She sat down in the grass beside Sajin. She looked down at their hands, which were still joined together. "If it were me, I would be happy enough with just being asked that the delivery would not really even register in my mind until much later." She turned his hands over and began tracing circles over his palms. "I cannot pretend that I know what Takara will be expecting."

"How do you know she will be expecting anything?"

Amaya rolled her eyes. "Everyone is expecting you to ask her. There may even be a betting pool as to when."

That should not have surprised him. The Soul Society was infamous for its gossip and betting pools about said gossip.

Sajin parted from Amaya early that night to seek Takara out.

She accepted his invitation without delay.

**AN: Thank you for the reviews! This chapter seems a little gloomy, too, but don't worry, I think the next one will brighten the mood a bit. I know the dream chapter seemed weird, but it will come into play later (if things go as planned that is...). **


	10. Uncertain

**Disclaimer: Own Bleach and its characters I do not, only my own OC's. **

Chapter 10: Uncertain

Sajin paced back and forth in his office until the door slid open.

"Captain," Lieutenant Iba said uncertainly. "You called for me?"

"I do not understand it, Tetzuzaemon. All this time I have been trying to win Takara over, but it is not her who I constantly think about. It is not Takara that I think dream about even in my waking moments. It is not Takara that I want to be with."

"It's Amaya," Iba said. Sajin stared at him. "It seems it is obvious to everyone but you, Captain. I saw the way you began looking at her after that first night you two spent together. And I see the way she looks at you. Honestly, I cannot believe you haven't figured it out before now. What finally clued you in, if I may ask, sir?"

Sajin had figured it out only a few hours ago when he had woken up. And finally remembered his dreams.

_He stood by the river, waiting for something. Waiting for _her.

_Someone called his name softly. He turned around. There, at the edge of the forest, she was standing, dressed in a long, flowing gown. Her arms were wrapped around herself to ward off the chill in the air. _

_He walked toward her. The look on her face was warm and loving. She opened her arms to him, inviting him to come closer. _

_He knelt down before her so that he was eye-level with her rounded belly, swollen with his child. He lay his hand gently there and felt movement, small but strong. This little life that he had helped to create with the woman he loved more than anything else in the world. _

It had been a sweet dream, one that Sajin woke from with some reluctance. He had closed his eyes once again, willing himself to fall back to that peaceful place, but something had been bothering him. He had finally given up on sleep and gone into the office early, still trying to work out what was bothering him so much about the dream.

Sajin had nearly choked on his morning tea when he finally figured it out. The secretary he had called in to find Lieutenant Iba had looked concerned, if not frightened, by the urgent tone in the captain's voice and the wide-eyed expression on his face. Sajin had begun to pace as he waited.

"It was her all along," he told his lieutenant now. "Ever since that night by the river I have been having dreams, sometimes good, sometimes bad. I could never remember what they were about until now." He looked at Iba. "It was not Takara I have been dreaming about; it was always Amaya."

Sajin felt he finally understood. His dreams were expressing to him what he could not or would not see while he was awake. He was afraid of falling in love, afraid of accidentally hurting her, afraid of her hurting him. Those were his nightmares. His dreams had also shown him what he wanted. He was in love with Amaya; he wanted a life and a future with her. Those were the dreams that had left him with a smile on his dreaming face. Those were the dreams that crept into his concsious mind and destracted him from his daily work.

Sajin explained all of this to Lieutenant Iba, who just smiled.

"I'm happy for you, Captain," he said. "It's obvious she feels the same way about you. Just tell her what you told me, ask her to the ball, and live happily ever after." He said it as though it were the most simple fact in the entire world.

"There is only one problem with that," Sajin said as he sunk down into his desk chair. He looked up at his lieutenant miserably. "I already asked Takara."

Iba looked as crestfallen as Sajin felt. "Oh," he said. "Oh, shit."

"Exactly," Sajin mumbled. He let his head fall down onto his desk. He had the strange urge to bang his head against a wall. "I am so stupid. Amaya sounded so disappointed when I told her I was going to ask Takara last night. I should have realized why."

"You still need to tell her how you feel," Iba said.

"But what if it is too late?" Sajin whispered. "What if I already lost my chance? What if Amaya thinks I asked Takara because I do not want her?"

It was a question for which neither of them had an answer.

**AN: This was not how I originally planned for this to happen, but, personally, I believe it is much better than what I had planned. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this. I have the next chapter (which was supposed to be this chapter) already written. A few minor changes and it will be ready. Keep reviewing! I deeply appreciate every comment. **


	11. Playful

**Disclaimer: The OC's are mine. Bleach and its characters are not mine.**

Chapter 10: Playful

As they stood there contemplating what to do, there was a knock on the door. Sajin's heart skipped a beat when Amaya stuck her head in. "Excuse me, Captain Komamura? Sorry to interrupt, but Third Seat Takara will be unable to come in today."

"Is she ill?" Iba asked.

Amaya narrowed her eyes and said in a mock-cheery voice, "No, sir. She had to go shopping. She figured you would not mind her absence for such a worthy cause." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. Sajin wondered if it was due to a dislike for Takara attending the ball with him instead of her, or a dislike for Takara in general.

She disappeared from view. A moment later, however she returned.

"The ball is only a few days away," she said wistfully. "Do you know how to dance?"

Sajin shook his head. "I was actually hoping to avoid it as much as possible."

"Oh, you can't," Iba put in. "All of the captains are required to start the first dance."

Sajin's heart stopped. "When was someone going to tell me this?"

Iba cleared his throat and held out the invitation all of the officers had received a few days prior. Sajin read over it quickly. _Well,_ he thought angrily to himself. There it was in black and white, three lines down on the invitation.

"Lucky for you I just so happen to know an excellent dance instructor," Amaya said. "It's gonna cost you, though." She grinned evilly.

Sajin smiled. "That's fine; I'm desperate."

"Meet me by the gates when you are finished working," Amaya called as she left.

"That ought to be interesting," Iba said. "Are you going to use the oppurtunity to tell her?"

Sajin shrugged. He wished he had more time to think of exactly _what_ he was going to tell her.

…

"The most important rule that you need to remember when dancing," Amaya said, "is that smooth is more important that stylish. As long as you are doing the basics, doing them right and on time, you will be fine. You will also be less likely to step on anybody's toes. Have good posture, but do not be so uptight that you aren't having any fun. At the end of the dance, that is all it is really about: having fun.

"Now," she continued, "put one hand on my waist and the other in my hand." He did, and then she led him through the steps of the waltz.

The room they were in was one of the old training rooms that was rarely used anymore.

"At least no one will walk in on my awkward attempts at dancing," Sajin joked.

"Believe me, you are doing much better than I did when I was first learning to dance. If you haven't noticed yet, I can be a little clumsy."

Sajin thought back to that first night and smiled. "Blame it on the knickknacks."

They went through several classical ballroom dances. When they had finished with all of the dances Amaya was sure they would be dancing to the night of the ball she, they paused, both a little breathless. Amaya said, "I am sure they will not have any like it, but would you like to try dancing to something a little more upbeat?"

Sajin nodded. Amaya put on a fast-beat song. She taught him hip-hop dancing. It was freestyle, yet it was somehow still centered on the partnership between the two dancers.

For such a large man, Sajin was rather coordinated. Only a few times did he stumble. Only once did he bump into Amaya.

That once, though, he sent her tumbling to the ground. She landed flat on her butt, her eyes flying open and her mouth forming a perfect "O". Sajin tried valiantly not to laugh.

"Oh, you think that's funny, huh," Amaya grumbled. Sajin nodded, his body shaking with suppressed laughter. "Are you going to help me up?"

Sajin put a hand out. Amaya took it. Very quickly she yanked on his hand and kicked his legs out from under him, catching him completely off guard.

He hit the ground with a loud thud, landing partly on Amaya. They looked at each other before bursting into laughter.

"Apparently I am not the only clumsy one around here," Amaya said between laughs.

"The only thing clumsy about me is you," Sajin said, still laughing.

Only when their laughter began to die down did Sajin finally notice how close he was to Amaya. In fact, he was still pinning her to the floor.

Amaya noticed as well. "You should probably get up now," she said.

Sajin nodded. "I probably should." He did not move.

"Maybe if I made it worth your while?"

Sajin's brain could not process what that was supposed to mean. He couldn't think with her this close. Kami, why had he never noticed before how beautiful she was? He lowered his head down to hers. Maybe…

He felt Amaya's hand touch his side. Then he burst into laughter once again as she began tickling him. She used the moment when he was laughing too hard to react to roll him over until she was pinning him down.

Amaya smiled. The way she was looking at him made Sajin's heart pound. She started to get up.

"Amaya," Sajin said. She gave him a questioning look. He took a deep breath and continued. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Amaya said softly.

Sajin shook his head. "For not realizing sooner that it was you." Then he explained everything to her. It all seemed to come out in a rush.

When he finished, there was a long silence, until Amaya said, "I hope you didn't tell any of this to Takara."

Sajin shut his eyes. All of the times Sajin had been rejected in his past should have prepared him for this, made it hurt less. But it didn't.

"Oh," he said. "I understand."

"Good. Oh, and Captain?" She waited until he opened his eyes to continue. "Remind me to thank Nanao the next time I see her."

Sajin was beyond confused at this point. His brain could not process what that meant, not with her so close to him. Was it just his imagination, or was she getting closer?

Amaya lowered her face down to meet his, her eyes closing slowly. His own eyes slid close as he felt her warm lips on his own.

For all of the times he had imagined this very moment, he never could have dreamed it would feel so good. It felt as though he had finally found an answer to a question that he had long since given up on.

Amaya was the first to pull away, but she did so reluctantly.

"You can't just leave Takara dateless three days before the dance," Amaya explained. She grinned evilly. "Well, I wouldn't mind, but I thought you would, being the gentleman that you are. Besides, we will have time to be together soon."

"You really want to be with me?" Sajin whispered, still amazed by the thought.

Amaya answered with another kiss. She pulled away and brushed a hand over the side of his face. The expression on her face told him that she wanted to be with him as much as he needed to be with her. He pulled her gently down to him so that her body still covered his, with her head on his chest. He wrapped an arm protectively around her.

They spent a long time just lying there together. The sun had gone down and the moon was almost at her peak by the time they finally left.

Sajin grinned like an idiot the entire way back to his quarters.

**AN: Awww. A little fluff does the soul good, I think. :3 That little "answer to the question given up on" thing refers to that feeling you get when you finally remember something that has been bugging you. You always get that little feeling of "OH!" when the lightbulb finally comes on and it brightens your entire day. Or at least that is how it is with me. **


	12. Announced

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or its characters. I do own my OC's. **

Chapter 12: Announced

It was the day of the ball. Practically every female officer in the entire Seireitei was either out or at home preparing for the upcoming event. Sajin may have been covered in fur, but at least he did not have to worry about spending two hours having it yanked into intricate knots and twists.

He also did not have to worry about finding "the perfect dress." He had heard countless women complaining about trying on fifty dresses before finding the right one, made more difficult by the fact that they were each given only one day in the world of the living for shopping. All Sajin had had to do was have his measurements taken. One week later he had his tuxedo and that was the end of it.

All in all, the Seireitei was a buzz of enthusiasm. Even the unranked Shinigami were excited to see their captains and officers dressed up. What did they call it in the world of the living again? A red rug event?

It was not the event itself that had Sajin excited, however. It was afterwards. He would finally get his chance with Amaya. They had planned to grab a midnight snack together rather than go to a bar. (The head captain had strongly suggested that the captains refrain from inebriating themselves.)

The only damper on his excitement was the thought of telling Takara that he did not wish to pursue a romantic relationship with her.

As he was getting ready he played and replayed countless scenarios in his head of the moment he when he would tell her. The most vivid image was of Takara kicking him in his manhood. He cringed at the very thought of it.

He showed up at Takara's doorway on time. She emerged wearing a bright red dress that had a long split that showed her leg when she took a step.

They made their way to the building that would be hosting the ball. It was formerly used for training before the academy had been built, so it was more than large enough.

Sajin waited with the rest of the captains and their dates, all waiting to be announced in. Head Captain Yamamoto was doing the announcing. Sajin noted that he had not brought a date.

Takara clung to Sajin's arm as they walked slowly up the aisle created by the bodies of the spectators. Her cat-like smile was wider than usually.

Once inside, the captains stood in the middle of the dance floor. The doors closed and the music started. The captains began dancing with thier dates and the room became a swirl of brightly colored silks and satins. Sajin was glad for the dancing lessons; so many eyes were upon the captains that tripping would have been humiliating.

Soon others began joining in. Sajin tried to catch a glimpse of Amaya but could not find her in the sea of people. He heard someone laugh as the music began dying down to switch to the next song. He turned and finally saw Amaya. She was talking to Nanao Ise, who was dancing with Shunsui Kyoraku. They were all smiling. Suddenly Nanao pointed toward Sajin. Amaya turned and waved.

"Have you not told the little pest to back off yet?"

Sajin looked down at Takara. He was so surprised that for a moment he lost his footing and almost tripped. "What?"

Takara raised an eyebrow. The smile on her face was cold. "You are here with me, Sajin, not Amaya."

Sajin cleared his throat. He wanted to at least attempt to salvage the situation. "I was meaning to talk to you about that," he said. "Amaya and I have gotten very close over the past month. We have decided to pursue a relationship."

Something flashed over Takara's expression. Then she sighed. Her smiled seemed a little more genuine if not a bit resigned. "I thought as much," she said. "I am not angry at you for it, Captain. I will not blame you if you want to spend the rest of the evening with Amaya."

Sajin's eyebrows rose. "Are you sure?" he asked.

Takara nodded. "She came with Lieutenant Iba. We can just trade partners."

As the song ended, Sajin wondered if maybe Takara had wanted to go with Iba the entire time. _Maybe those two will end up together,_ Sajin thought with an inward smile. He had not noticed anything between them. Then again, he had not even realized that he was in love with Amaya, so maybe he had just overlooked this as well.

They quickly traded partners, Amaya looking just as excited as Sajin felt.

The night was turning out better than he ever could have imagined.

**AN: It is nice to see our favorite wolfie-captain happy. For now... *grins sadistically* Keep up the reviews; they are greatly appreciated. By the way, I hadn't really thought about it until now, but all of the creepy smiling reminds me of a certain defected captain. **


	13. Frightened

**Disclaimer: The ownership of Bleach is not mine, nor is the ownership of Bleach characters. My OC's are, however, mine.**

Chapter 13: Frightened

As the night progressed, more people left the dance floor, and the dancing style itself was not as important. Many couples were simply holding each other while moving slowly in a circle.

Sajin looked down at Amaya. In the soft lights he could tell that she was looking up at him. "Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" He took in her appearance, with her long grey gown that perfectly complimented her stormy eyes and revealed just enough skin and shape to make Sajin crave more.

Her eyes glittered playfully. "It never hurts to hear it again," she said.

Sajin chuckled. He brushed a hand tenatively under her chin. Amaya smiled up at him. Her face darkened briefly. "What did you tell Takara?" she asked quietly.

Sajin smiled in an attempt to diminish her worry. "I told her the truth: I want to have a relationship with you. She did not seem surprised but accepted it. She even suggested that we could trade partners."

Amaya still looked worried. Then she shrugged.

"I saw you talking to Lieutenant Ise earlier," Sajin said, trying to change the subject. "Did you get your chance to thank her?"

Amaya grinned. "I did, but I don't know how much of it she actually heard. She seemed a little preoccupied…" They both glanced over to where Nanao and Shunsui were still dancing, both with smiles on their faces. "It's about time, too," Amaya muttered under her breath.

Sajin looked around the room once. _Strange,_ he thought to himself when he noticed that his lieutenant was sitting with a group of people that did not include Takara. In fact, he did not see any sign of Takara anywhere. _She must have stepped out for a minute._ He turned his attention back to the woman in his arms and forgot about everything else for a while.

Some time later, all of the lights came on and everyone began to filter out. Most of the women had abandoned their heels in favor of bare feet, Amaya included.

"You men have no idea what we go through to look pretty for you," Amaya said in mock irritation.

"It's a shame, considering you don't have to do anything to make me think you are beautiful," Sajin said as they made their way to the seventh.

Amaya rolled her eyes. "Now he tells me." She grew suddenly serious. "Actually, Sajin, I was wondering if maybe you would rather we not go out tonight."

Sajin stopped walking. "Are you feeling alright? You look a little flushed."

As he said it her cheeks reddened further. "Oh, I'm fine. I just thought, maybe, we could go home and…" She let the thought trail off as she started walking again.

Sajin… blushed? _Could_ he blush? He did not know, but it definitely felt as if he could and was.

"If you don't want to, I would completely understand," Amaya continued, now some distance from him. He quickened his pace to catch up to her. "I just wanted to put it out there and see how you felt about it."

How he felt about it. Hmm… "I don't want to pressure you into anything," he told her, which was true.

She gave him a look that made the heat from his face spread to other areas of his body. "Trust me. You wouldn't be."

She pulled him down for a kiss. Sajin's heart was pounding in his chest. As close as she was to him he was sure she could feel it. Among other things. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

It took him mere seconds using shunpo to reach his room. He had to be careful not to accidentally yank the door down in his haste to get it open.

Amaya put her feet down on the floor long enough to remove Sajin's jacket and shirt. He picked her up once again, reveling in the way her body pressed into his. He backed her up against a wall so his hands would be free to touch her.

Something about the situation seemed too familiar to Sajin. Then he remembered his dream.

"Is something wrong?" Amaya panted when he pulled away.

Sajin brought a hand to his face. The other hand still rested on her side, feeling her lungs expand as she breathed deeply.

He knew he wanted nothing more than to be with her, now and forever. But there was that nagging voice, the one that knew what he would be, now and forever. Monstrous. At any moment he was afraid that that primal feeling inside of him would be too much. He could never live with himself if he lost control and hurt her.

"I can't do this," he said in a strangled voice. He gently set her down on the floor and went to sit on his bed. She followed him.

"If you want to wait…" The sheer compassion in her voice almost broke him.

"I can't," he repeated while he still could. "You should go."

She waited a moment longer. Before she left, she bent down and kissed his cheek. He drew in a shuddering breath and watched her pad softly out of his room.

Sajin let himself fall back on his bed. Now that he was regaining is composure, he tried to think of a solution. He knew it was impossible to stay away from Amaya; it would be easier to cut off his own arm. He just needed a way to subdue that primal urge. Or at least make it less prominent.

There was a crash down the hall. It sounded very similar to the noises he had heard the first night when he had met Amaya. _I should make sure she hasn't been injured by her own junk,_ Sajin thought.

He walked out of his room and down the hall, not bothering to put a shirt back on. None of the officers who resided in this part of the building were back yet.

Standing outside Amaya's door, he was about to knock when he heard something hit the floor. Was she throwing things? Maybe he would get his kick in the nuts tonight after all.

He knocked. No answer. Another knock and again no answer. He slid the door open, an apology already on his lips.

Sajin froze as his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. Amaya's things were strewn everywhere, some broken.

His heart was now pounding for a much different reason. As he walked into the room his foot slid on something. He looked down. _Oh, kami,_ he thought. Blood. There was blood everywhere.

"Amaya!" he shouted frantically.

He finally caught sight of her. She was lying crumpled against the wall in a pool of her own blood. He went to her side. Even with the little knowledge he had of healing kido he could tell her injuries were extensive. She was barely breathing.

Sajin cradled her in his arms bridal style and shunpoed to the fourth, praying Lady Unohana would be close by.

**AN: When I was writing this, my program tried to correct 'shunpo' with 'shampoo'. It made me laugh right when I was getting into an intense mood. Update soon. Keep up the reviews. **


	14. Broken

**Disclaimer: I own my OC's, not Bleach or its characters.**

Chapter 14: Broken

"Who is responsible for this?" Captain Unohana asked. After nearly two hours, she had finally finished treating Amaya.

"Is she alright?" Sajin asked. He had been sitting in the waiting room a few steps away from the treatment room. It had been far too quiet in there.

Lady Unohana sat down beside Sajin. She sighed. Sajin had never seen her look so unhappy. "She is in critical condition. She has three broken ribs and has lost a lot a blood. She is also unable to breathe on her own for now. I have done everything I can, but her body was so broken that it may be unable to heal itself." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sajin, it looks as if whoever attacked her was of lieutenant level. Do you know anyone who would have done it?"

Sajin had been thinking about it. One person kept coming to mind: Takara. Iba had said that she had almost beaten him. Sajin had thought nothing of it at the time. Now, however, it was the foremost thought in his mind.

He relayed this to Lady Unohana, who sent someone to tell squad six captain Byakuya Kuchki, who would investigate the scene. Then she said, "You can go and see her now. She is not yet conscious, but your presence alone may be of some comfort."

Sajin did not hesitate. He drew in a sharp breath when he saw her. Every inch of skin that was not covered in bruises was covered by wires or tape holding the wires in place. Most noticeable was the tube sticking down her throat connecting to a machine that was breathing for her.

Sajin pulled a chair to the bedside and slumped down into it. Something inside of him felt like it was breaking. He reached out and took Amaya's hand into his, careful not to pull at the wires. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I'm so sorry. Please wake up, sweetheart. I will do anything if you will just open your eyes for me. Stay with me."

Amaya remained motionless. Sajin lost track of how long he sat there like that. He paid attention only to the mechanical rise and fall of her chest, the one sign that she was still with him.

…

At some point he must have fallen asleep, because the next thing Sajin was aware of was someone gently shaking him awake. He looked down at Amaya, who was still unconscious. Then he looked up to see Lieutenant Ise standing over him. He started to stand but Nanao held out a hand to stop him.

"I just came to see how she was doing," she said quietly. "I also wanted to report what Captain Kuchki found." Sajin looked up at her expectantly. "I think you already have an idea who is responsible, sir."

Sajin lowered his head. "I should have realized Takara would do something like this."

"How is that? She was an officer in the ninth for years before anyone realized there was something off about her. Even then, people were too distracted by her beauty to even remember later what they ever thought was off about her." Nanao shook her head. "It is all irrelevant now, anyway."

Sajin's head snapped up. "How do you mean?"

Nanao blinked slowly. "Takara is dead. She may have had a slight upper hand in terms of strength, but she was no match for Amaya's determination and character."

Sajin smiled weakly at that.

"Did she ever tell you why I sent you to her when you came asking me for advice?"

Sajin looked up. He shook his head. "I just assumed it was a matter of convenience."

Nanao smiled. "No. You see, Amaya tends to be rather shy when first meeting people. She started coming to the Shinigami Women's Association meetings in attempt to get over her shyness. We all opened up to her, of course, but she still seemed withdrawn."

Sajin tried and failed to picture the vibrant woman he knew being withdrawn from people.

Nanao continued, "As vice-president of the Association, I spent more time with her than most. She began to open up to me, and I found out some very interesting things about her. Primarily the fact that, even years ago, she had a major crush on you. Helmet and all."

"What?" Sajin said, clearly surprised.

Nanao nodded. "She always found some way to bring you up in random conversation. She admired your loyalty, kindness, and bravery above all else. It was not until the incident with Aizen we realized that, at some point, her admiration and respect for you had turned into love. She came to me one night crying. Every night since that day she has had nightmares about the moment Aizen dropped the Black Coffin on you."

Sajin shuddered at the memory. "She told me she had been having trouble sleeping. Is that what she meant?"

Nanao nodded. "She would always wake up in a panic if she could not detect your spiritual pressure. A few times Lieutenant Iba told me he found her asleep in the hall outside your room. Anything to be close to you."

Sajin was dumbfounded. Someone wanted to be close to him badly enough to sleep in the hall? "Even if what you said is true, I cannot understand how she would continue to feel attraction to me after my helmet was removed."

Nanao just looked at him. Finally she said, "Love has a way of making everything about a person beautiful to us, even what others may consider flaws. She only ever made one comment about your appearances, and that was to say you had the most gorgeous, expressive eyes she had ever seen."

Sajin was speechless. He had never received a compliment before, at least, not one concerning appearances.

"I am guessing," Nanao said, "that you were surprised to hear Amaya is shy. She has always had such faith in you; it makes sense that she would be so comfortable with you then. You are the only person I've ever seen her get close to." She turned and walked to the door. "I have a feeling I also know how this whole mess with Takara started, but I believe it would be better if Amaya told you herself."

Nanao left. A moment later, however, she returned with a bowl of hot water, a washcloth, and a towel. "You may not want to leave her side, but you should at least clean the blood off of yourself."

Sajin looked down. She was right; his fur was matted with dried blood. "Thank you," he said to the lieutenant. But she was already gone.

**AN: This chapter was a little depressing, but it had a little happy thrown in there, too. Has anyone noticed that I am a ShunsuiXNanao fan yet? :3 In fact, that is probably the pairing I will attempt if I write another long fic. Do I like all of these characters because they do not get enough screen time? Or is it just my luck that the ones I like would not be the ones shown all the time? Big mysteries of life. **


	15. Painful

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or its characters, only my OC's. Also, in this chapter I used a line from a Nickelback song that also does not belong to me. **

Chapter 15: Painful

Sajin barely left Amaya's side for two days. She was still on the ventilator, and she was still unconscious. Sajin had never been more worried in his entire life. It was physically painful for him to see her in such a state.

On the morning of the third day he was awakened by a gentle pressure on his hand. He looked at Amaya; she had not moved. His hopes fell. But then he felt her squeeze his hand again, impossibly light and slightly chilled.

Amaya's eyes fluttered open and her lips twitched weakly around the ventilator tube.

"Hi," Sajin said breathily.

She blinked her eyes slowly. _Hi,_ he translated.

Gently he brushed his hand over her face. She leaned into his touch. She looked down at the ventilator tube sticking out of her mouth and rolled her eyes. "Frustrating, huh?" Sajin guessed. She rubbed her face against his hand in a small nod. "Just sleep and recover. The sooner we can get you off of that machine and get you home the better."

Her eyes smiled up at him before they slid closed.

…

Sajin slept on a cot by Amaya's bedside. Late one a smack in the face abruptly woke him. Amaya was trashing in her bed. Sajin jumped up and shook her awake as gently as he could.

Her eyes flew open and searched wildly around the room. When they landed on his face, they filled with tears.

His earlier worry was nothing compared to what it was now. "Amaya," he whispered urgently. "I am going to get Lady Unohana."

Amaya shook her head. With tears still rolling down her face, she pulled Sajin down onto the bed beside her. She snuggled into his side and fell back asleep. Sajin was tense for a while, but quickly relaxed a fell back to sleep as well.

…

It was an entire week before Amaya could be taken off of the ventilator. Sajin's heart lurched painfully as she coughed up blood. Lady Unohana assured them that her throat had just been rubbed raw and should heal in a few days.

Meanwhile it seemed to Sajin that Amaya continued to grow stronger with each passing hour.

"You do realize you can go home, right?" she asked him one day, her voice still hoarse. "I am not going anywhere."

Sajin continued to work on the paperwork he had asked Lieutenant Iba to bring in. "I would rather be here with you."

"Ah, well, if you insist." She stood up from the bed. Sajin put down the paperwork, ready to catch her if at any moment she stumbled. She swayed briefly with her first step. Her next step was steadier. She walked to the chair in which Sajin was sitting. She sat down and curled up in his lap with her head on his chest. "Is this alright?"

"Do you really have to ask?" he said. He lowered his face to her hair and inhaled deeply. "I thought I had lost you," he said in a broken whisper.

"No, I almost lost you," Amaya said. She buried her face in his chest, and he could feel her tears seeping into his skin. "That day that we sparred," she said quietly, "Takara told me that she never lost. She also told me that she would have you, if only so no one else could. Even if that meant eliminating me."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sajin said as he stroked the back of her hair comfortingly.

Amaya shrugged. "I thought I could handle it. Besides, I didn't want her to try to hurt you." She made a small noise; he couldn't tell if it was a laugh or a hiccup. "Of course, I don't mean physically. Takara was just good at mind games and manipulation with everyone in general and men in particular."

"I never want you to feel like you have to handle something like that alone again." He took a deep breath. "When you come home at nights, I want to be able to discuss our days." He added with a small, pained smile, "Random death threats included."

She pulled back and looked up at him with a wide-eyed expression. "Home?"

He nodded. "That is, if you want to move in with me." He waited.

A grin spread slowly across Amaya's bruised face. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. Sajin chuckled at her reaction.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said. She nodded.

"I have a condition," she said as he tried to pull her in for another kiss.

"Anything," Sajin said without really thinking.

Amaya lifted her chin a little higher. "Clear your schedule for a couple of days when they let me out of here."

Sajin raised an eyebrow. "I think I can manage that. What do you have planned?"

She smirked defiantly. "We are going to finish where we left off the other night."

Oh. That. Sajin tried to push the image from his mind before his body could react. Amaya picked up on his reaction and smiled. She pulled herself closer to him and began kissing his neck. Her hands trailed the edges of his uniform, then onto his bare chest. She pulled the uniform open and trailed her kisses downward where her hands were moments before. His breathing sped up.

Amaya had to stop suddenly when she began to cough. "Whoops," she said between coughs.

"You should still be resting," Sajin said as he scooped her up in his arms and laid her gently back down on her bed. "Do you ever think that maybe all of these interuptions are the universe's signs that you should not be with me?" he added, only half-joking.

Amaya coughed again. "Nope. What's worth the prize is always worth the fight. Besides, it builds suspense." She winked at him.

At that moment Sajin came to the conclusion that he could in fact blush.

**AN: I think that under all that fur Sajin can blush. Here is something I am not so sure about and would like to get everyone, or someone's, opinion on: does Sajin have nipples? I feel weird asking, but I would like to know for a future chapter. They could be hidden up under the fur somewhere. (I was walking to answer the phone when this concept popped into my head. I was laughing so hard when I answered that my friend thought she had called the wrong number.) Also, does he have a tail? I have never seen it on the show, but does he have it hidden somewhere? Please don't leave me wondering...**


	16. Revealed

**Disclaimer: The only part of Bleach that I own are my OC's.**

Chapter 16: Revealed

It took another week before Amaya was well enough to leave the fourth. During that time, Sajin began preparing everything for her arrival into his home. The apartment-like captain's suites would be more than large enough to accommodate them both comfortably. It also helped that Amaya's old room would be used for storage. They had agreed that all of her knickknacks would be better left where they were.

Amaya insisted on walking out of the fourth on her own power; Sajin insisted on carrying her the rest of the way to the seventh.

Sajin had already brought over everything Amaya considered essential from her rooms. He gave her a brief tour, showing her where he had put her things. His quarters had always been furnished rather sparsely, though he had tried to make things more homey for Amaya. "You can add your own touches later," he told her. "Whatever you want to do to make it feel more like home. As long as there aren't so many knickknacks that I trip everytime I get out of bed," he added as an afterthought.

He noticed a thoughtful expression come over her face when he showed her the bathroom.

"I noticed you have a shower and a nice sized tub," she said when he asked her about it. "Either one would probably hold two people. We can test that theory out later."

Sajin's face flushed. Before he could comment (how he _could_ comment he didn't know), Amaya said, "I hope you cleared your schedule like I told you. I made plans."

"Really?" Sajin said, suddenly nervous. Whether because of the tub concept or the mischievous smile on her face he did not know.

A while later he found himself back at the river where he and Amaya had spent so much time together. She led him to a place where the river widened. The water was deep and virtually motionless. The late afternoon sun made the water sparkle.

Sajin watched with wide eyes as Amaya began to remove her clothing. She stripped down to her underwear, then waded into the water.

"You did just get out of the fourth division, you know," Sajin said. "It might night be the best idea to go swimming in freezing water."

Amaya turned her head toward him. "Don't worry; it's just cool enough to be refreshing." She stepped out further, the water up to her waist. She looked back at him invitingly.

_The woman will be living with you now. She asked to explore the wonders of the bathtub with you. And you can't even go swimming with her?_ He shook his head. He knew he was being ridiculous. He stripped down to his undergarments. He felt extremely subconscious with Amaya watching him, especially as he shook out his tail. It felt good to not have to hide it under his clothes, but he worried about her reaction.

"I always wondered if you had a tail," he heard her mutter to herself. She was smiling. It was enough to make him wade out into the water beside her.

He realized right away that she was right about the water. It was refreshing to his body, which was suddenly all too warm. She took his hand when he paused and pulled him out deeper until neither of them could touch the bottom. For a while they just swam around. Just as Sajin was starting to relax, Amaya swam closer to him.

Her body was so close to his own. She brushed up against him in several places as they swam in place.

"Now, Sajin," she murmured into his ear, "would you mind telling me what it is that is bothering you about sleeping with me?"

He could not honestly say he was surprised. He had however been trying to avoid this moment. "I don't know how to explain without freaking you out."

She smiled, her hand going out to brush across his arm. "Nothing you can say or do is going to make me run away screaming, if that is what you're worried about."

He took a deep breath. Then he told her everything. About the dreams and nightmares, his need to be with her, his fear of hurting her. No matter what she had said, he still half expected her to run screaming into the night.

Her reaction surprised him. She laughed. "None of that will ever happen." She paused. "Well, maybe someday the pregnancy thing, if everything works out." Sajin's heart fluttered. "The rest of it just won't happen." A tiny smile graced her lips. "The minute I thought I had lost you, my entire world unraveled. The ground felt as if it had fallen from under me."

"That was when Takara…?" he let the question trail off.

Amaya shook her head. "It was when Aizen dropped the Coffin on you. It was also the moment I realized I had fallen in love with you, and losing you would have destroyed my world."

Sajin's world seemed to freeze. For the first time in his entire existence someone had told him they loved him. He felt as if his heart would explode. The hand he brought up to touch the side of Amaya's face, the very hand that he had once looked at with hatred for its monstrosity, now did not seem so ugly to him. Claws and all.

"I really do want to try," he said softly, "because I love you." Her face lit up. "But I'm afraid."

The wistful expression returned to Amaya's face. "If you are willing to trust me, I think I have an idea about how to fix that."

Sajin nodded. "Of course. What do you have in mind?"

Amaya kissed him lightly. "I am going to prove to you that your worries are completely unfounded."

**AN: Special thanks to GiniroiOkami for answering my questions and finally putting my mind to rest. After a long wait, I am happy to report that the lemons will be coming soon. :3 **


	17. Ashamed

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or its characters. **

**Warning: Avert your eyes if lemons aren't for you.**

Chapter 17: Ashamed

Sajin sat on the edge of his bed. He was currently resisting the urge to pace. Amaya had asked him to wait here while she went back into her old room to get something.

The door slid open, revealing Amaya in a short robe. It revealed just enough skin to make Sajin squirm.

Slowly she made her way across the room to him. She sat in his lap and looked up at him for a moment before pulling him down for a kiss. He happily obliged. Longing and urgency were apparent from both Amaya and himself.

She slid her tongue into his mouth, something she had never done before. Sajin's own tongue followed suit and explored her mouth. She took the opportunity to gently suck on the tip of his tongue. Sajin groaned, and he felt her smile.

Amaya pulled back and began to trail her kisses down his throat. When she reached clothing, she sat back and looked at him. She continued to watch him while she removed his shoulder armor and captain's haori, followed by the top half of his shihakshou, then his gauntlets. She resumed kissing his body, starting at the crook of his neck and going downward.

Sajin felt his nipples harden under Amaya's touch. She noticed, too. She brushed away the fur that covered one with her hands. Sajin's hands gripped the bed sheets when her tongue touched the sensitive skin; he suppressed a groan when she bit the nipple softly.

Amaya let the robe slide off of her shoulders and onto the floor. Underneath she was wearing a lacy bra and panties that might as well not have been there. She brought his hand up to rest on her ribcage, then guided it down her side, over her hips, and to the outside of her thigh. Her skin felt so soft under his touch.

Sajin took the oppurtunity to glance down. The strain in his pants was evident, even more so due to his lack of underwear. His erection was digging into her thigh; he could feel the heat of it where it came in contact with his own skin, and he had no doubt she could feel it as well.

His heartbeat raced as she kept going lower. Her kisses stopped just below his naval. Instead of removing the bottom part of his shihakshou (as he had desperately hoped she would), Amaya had started to work her way back up his body, once again pausing to play with his nipples. He was just thinking that he had something different in mind from what Amaya was planning when he felt her hand slip under his clothing. Sajin yelped.

Amaya chuckled at his reaction. She kept her hand in the area just around his manhood. Whenever she moved she rubbed against him, causing the ache in his pants to grow stronger and his grip on the sheets to become tighter.

She kissed a particularly sensitive area on his neck. She removed her hand from his pants and began massaging his shoulders. She shifted forward, bring their bodies closer together. The movement caused her hips to rub against his.

It was finally too much for him. Sajin's entire body tensed as he came into his pants. For a moment they both just sat there. Sajin did not know whether to be relieved or humiliated.

Amaya pointed downward. "Did you just…?" She cocked her head to the side.

Sajin nodded. To his surprise, she smiled. "You see?" she murmured into his ear. "Even through my best attempts at torture you you didn't try to rip my head off. I think we can sleep together without incident."

"What?" Sajin said incredulously.

"You said you were afraid of hurting me," she said softly, rubbing her hands over his chest, "or basically of being too rough with me. I know you would never hurt me intentionally, and if you did not lose control during all of that, I am pretty sure you won't, period." She smiled seductively at him. "Would you like to claim your prize now?" He must have nodded because the next thing he knew Amaya was pulling off the bottom half of his uniform.

There was a pause. Sajin became concerned. He had never really thought about it before, but maybe, since the rest of him was as far from normal as it gets, that part was abnormal as well. He had never believed he would get close enough to anyone for it to matter.

Amaya was staring at his manhood. Long enough in fact that Sajin started to fidget. Finally she spoke. "Damn."

"Is something wrong?" he asked, now very concerned.

Amaya shook her head. "I'll tell you later." She pushed on his chest. "You should lie down for this."

He did as he was told. "I should warn you," he muttered, "that I've never had an opportunity to… get close to anyone like this before. I am not entirely sure what I am supposed to be doing."

Amaya laughed lightly. "For this you don't have to do anything at all."

She positioned herself between his legs. One touch of her hand and his engorged cock sprang back to life. She leaned over his body to kiss him. She trailed kisses down his body, pausing only when she reached his area.

Sajin shivered when she kissed the area around his cock. He had never before been touched in such a way, not even by himself. "You're sure you want this?" he whispered.

Amaya answered by kissing his shaft. Up and down it she trailed kisses. _Oh, _he thought as she kissed him gently. _Oh, kami, how can this feel so good?_ She parted her lips and began trailing her tongue up his length. His breathing came in as a sharp hiss. He noticed that she was doing everything slowly, deliberately. _Giving me time to adjust,_ some distant part of his mind noted.

She paused, her eyes flickering up to meet his, before sucking on the tip of his cock. Sajin could not suppress the moan that it elicited. Amaya took him into her mouth. He consciously had to force himself to sit still when all he wanted to do was writhe with the sheer pleasure of it. His hands raked across the sheets. Her tongue danced across his skin as her head bobbed up and down. He was torn between asking her to stop and begging her to go faster.

Amaya glanced up at him, his face contorted with his efforts not to move and risk hurting her, and she chuckled. Sajin yelped at the shock of pleasure the small vibrations in her throat caused him.

Her movements became quicker. He watched in awe at how hungrily she sucked on his cock, taking him into her mouth as far as she could.

Sajin wanted nothing more than to hold her head and thrust into her mouth. His climax was building slowly, almost painfully so. Amaya took him in farther until his cock was down her throat. Then she swallowed. As the muscles in her throat tightened around him, Sajin's body reacted of its own accord. His arms reached out and held her head while his hips thrust upward. Immediately ashamed of himself, he jerked his hands back.

Horrified at what he had just done, he started to apologize. He tried to pull away. Amaya put her hands on his hips to stop him. She pulled him mostly out of her mouth, then sucked on his tip, hard. His head went back, a long moan escaping from his lips as he came. He squirted his seed into her mouth and onto her face. She kept sucking until he was finished. Sajin watched and tried to slow his breathing as she she licked him clean.

The apology bubbled back up to his lips. Amaya crawled over him, and lay down across him.

"Not bad for a first time, huh?" she murmured.

Sajin panted. "Not bad for any time."

"Just imagine how good I could get at it with a little practice." She grinned.

Sajin's eyes widened. It was her first time doing that, and she was _that_ good at it? His thoughts quickly changed gears. "I haven't hurt you have I? I didn't mean to…"

Amaya snuggled closer to him. "You did perfectly. And I am more than fine." She smiled up at him, sending his heart pounding. She kissed his throat. "I didn't do as well as I was hoping though; my goal was to make you scream."

Sajin laughed. "You have no idea how close you came."

"I wonder though," she said, "how many times I can get you up in one night…" He felt her hand run up his length, which instantly reacted. Amaya shook her head and grinned. "So easy." Sajin grinned sheepishly.

"I haven't degraded you have I?" He was ashamed for not asking earlier. He also felt guilty about being the only one to receive any pleasure from the whole affair. He told her this.

She laughed. Her hand stroked his cock with increasing speed. He had to work to concentrate. "It was my idea, so no, you haven't degraded me. And you are insane if you think I didn't enjoy doing that." As he reached another climax, she bent down and took him into her mouth. He came again, gripping the edge of his bed tightly to keep himself still. She licked his seed away again before resuming her place at his side.

For someone who had not done anything, Sajin was exhausted. He wrapped his arms around Amaya.

"Enough for one night?" she said just before she yawned. "Oh, well. I have plans for tomorrow, too. Goodnight, Sajin."

"Goodnight, my love," he murmured as they both drifted off into a happy sleep. Sajin could not wait to see what tomorrow would bring...

**AN: My longest chapter yet. Whether that is a good or bad thing is entirely up to you! I have the image of a half-naked Sajin in my head now that just won't go away... Please review and tell me what you think of my very first lemon chapter! (I don't count the dreams because they didn't actually happen.)**


	18. Burned

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Sajin Komamura. *sigh***

Chapter 18: Burned

Sajin awoke the next morning to an empty bed. He sat up quickly. _I couldn't have dreamed the whole thing._ _Could I?_ he thought. _No dream could feel like _that,_ though. _His keen senses picked up a faint aroma. His eyes widened as he identified it as smoke.

Quickly he made his way into his small kitchen area. Amaya stood over the stove, frantically trying to put out the small fire that had begun in one of the pots.

"Alright, so I can't cook," she said after Sajin had extinguished the fire with only minimal fur-singeing. She gave an embarrassed shrug and continued, "Oh, well. I can't say I didn't try. Looks like we are going out for breakfast."

Sajin chuckled. He bent down and kissed her forehead. "I do appreciate the effort though," he said.

Amaya scooted around him hurriedly. Before he could ask what was wrong she called back to him, "No more physical contact until you get dressed. Otherwise I will not be able to resist you and all your naked glory, and then we will never make it to breakfast or to my surprise."

"Naked glory?" Sajin said. He coughed to hide his laughter.

"Ah, you laugh now. Just wait," Amaya said with a wicked smile. She turned so that her back was to him. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned back against him. He sighed deeply. "You think I'm joking," she murmured. "You really do drive me crazy in the best possible way. Everything about you."

Sajin snorted. "And here I thought the tail was a turnoff."

So quietly that he almost didn't hear she said, "I think the tail is sexy."

He had lifted her into his arms and was kissing her before she had time to protest. She pulled back and gave him what was supposed to be a stern look. "Alright," he said setting her down. He grabbed his clothes and started getting dressed.

…

"I officially have no idea where we are now." He had always had a good sense of direction and a good mental layout of the Seireitei and general surrounding areas, but nothing about the forest Amaya had led him into seemed familiar.

Immediately following breakfast they had begun a trek out into the wilderness. Sajin had only become concerned when he realized that they were too far out to be returning tonight, yet they had brought no supplies. "Are you sure you know where you are going?" he asked her now.

Amaya took his hand into hers. "Don't worry so much. We are almost there."

It was not much longer when she stopped and pointed to something ahead of them. It was a house. Or, more appropriately, a small mansion. Considering its location in the middle of nowhere it was in excellent condition. Sajin wondered who it belonged to.

"I did some negotiating," she said with a shrug when he asked her about it. "It didn't take much to convince him, though. He thought you were overdue for a vacation."

"He?" Sajin wondered aloud.

"The Head Captain," she said nonchalantly.

Sajin was surprised to say the least. "You asked to borrow a house from him?"

"No, I asked to borrow one of his captains from him. The house he offered himself. It even comes fully stocked of everything we could possibly need. We even get the service of housekeepers, who will cook and clean for us if we ask. They live in a small house around the back, so we won't be bothered."

"Does 'everything we could possibly need' include a change of clothes? Because I somehow doubt the Head Captain and I wear the same size." They had just reached the door.

Amaya gave him a coy look. "What makes you think you will be needing clothes?" She swung the door open and stepped inside. "Would you like dinner first?"

He was ready to say to hell with dinner, but his stomach growled loudly. _Traitor,_ he thought as he followed Amaya into the kitchen.

He had to admit, the dinner was delicious, and he thoroughly enjoyed every conversation he had with Amaya. But his mind kept wandering back to what was going to happen when they went to their room for the night. It sent shivers up his spine and a fluttering in his belly.

When they were finished eating, Amaya bid the servants goodnight. She closed the door behind them, then grabbed Sajin's hand and led him upstairs to one of the guest bedrooms. It was ridiculously large and lavishly furnished. The bed was big enough for Sajin three times over.

Amaya looked up at him, her grey eyes shining, and he wondered if she was as nervous as he was. She stepped closer to him. She laid a hand against his chest and whispered, "I'm yours."

"As I am yours," he murmured back. He pulled her up into his arms and kissed her. Soon they were wrapped up in the burning intensity of it. Sajin felt the fire Amaya created within him spread across every part of his body. He pulled back, suddenly needing to make her understand something. "I love you, Amaya," he said. He poured every emotion he was feeling into those words so that she would understand how true they were.

Her eyes softened into the look that only she had ever given him. "I love you, too, Sajin."

His heart soared. They resumed kissing. Amaya stripped Sajin, more quickly than the last time. He fumbled with her sash and had to resist the urge to just rip it off. Amaya giggled and helped him. Her top slid off, revealing bare shoulders. With just a gentle tug the rest of her clothing fell off as well. She was wearing a different, even more revealing, bra and panty set.

Sajin lifted her up and laid her gently back on the bed. "Tell me if I do anything wrong," he told her. She gave him a skeptical look but nodded. He proceeded to kiss her jaw line, her neck, and her shoulders. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Amaya sat up a little. He was unsure of what she wanted. She took his hand in one of hers and pulled it around to her back. It finally dawned on him, and he unhooked her bra and tossed it aside.

Sajin could not keep himself from staring for a moment. Amaya laughed. "This isn't a museum; you can look _and_ touch." Sajin brought his hand up and put it on one of her breasts. He groaned a little at the feeling of her. He brushed his thumb over her nipple. Amaya's eyes closed as her nipples hardened. Tentatively Sajin leaned forward. He ran his tongue over her skin. He immediately discovered the appeal and was soon sucking on her gently. She gave a shuddering sigh beneath him.

He continued his downward descent over the smooth skin of her belly. He pulled one of her legs around him. He met her eyes when he reached her panties. Slowly he work his fingers under them; slowly he slid them off.

The fire he had felt earlier was raging now. He felt as if he would be burned alive. His heart was pounding. Never had he been so scared or so lustful as he was in this moment.

Still unsure of how to proceed, he allowed Amaya to guide him into the correct position. He was hovering over her, his body merely inches from hers. She reached down and gently grabbed his cock. It was hard and aching to be within her. It was the part of his body which burned the most. Amaya rubbed his cock over her inner thighs. She brought the tip closer and rubbed the tip slowly across her opening. Sajin gasped when he felt her wet heat. Amaya brought her hands back up and pulled his face down for a kiss. Her expression when she pulled away encouraged him to continue.

He took a deep breath and moved forward. He let the tip of his cock rest against her for a heartbeat before sliding his hips forward slowly. Sajin felt something inside Amaya tear and noticed the look of pain that crossed her face.

Amaya held on to him to prevent him from jerking back. "It happens with all women their first time," she panted. "Just give me a second to get used to you."

Sajin nodded. He placed his hand on the side of her face and rubbed his thumb across her cheek. She opened her eyes and nodded for him to go on.

He thrust his hips slowly. He groaned at the feeling of her tightness and heat around him. He thrust his hips again, burying himself deeper inside of her. Amaya moaned, her eyes closed. Sajin realized happily that he was giving her pleasure. When most of his shaft was buried inside of her, Sajin paused. He reveled in the way she felt around him.

Amaya surprised him by bucking her hips, pushing his cock farther inside her. Sajin resumed thrusting inside of her. He went slowly at first but could finally stand it no longer. He started moving faster, his climax building with every stroke.

Amaya came while moaning his name. She tightened around him, causing him to come. He cried out loudly and was glad they were the only ones in the house. It felt as though he exploded within her, making her cry out a little. His seed filled her; he felt the hot liquid run back over him a little.

"Oh, Amaya," he moaned, burying he face in her hair. He collapsed onto his side, careful not to land on her. His cock was still inside of her. He started to pull out, although reluctantly, when Amaya wrapped her legs around him.

"Not yet," she purred with a satisfied smile on her face. Sajin was happy to comply. They lay together like that for a while. Sajin would have been satisfied to stay that way forever, but his body had other ideas. Just the subtle feel of her heartbeat around him was unusually arousing. He could feel his cock hardening again inside of her. Amaya chuckled as he smiled apologetically. "Don't be sorry. We have all night. Besides, we never did find out how many times you could come in a night." She smiled seductively at him.

Sajin smiled back. His future had never looked more promising.

**AN: It was lemony and fluffy. A fluffy lemon. :3 Yeah... Sorry it took so long for me to update this time. It has just been one of those weeks, you know? :/ Anywho, I was planning on the next chapter being the last in this story. I was considering doing another story about Sajin and Amaya's life together (their attempts to start a family; forcast calling for fluff and lemons, maybe a little angst and/or drama thrown in for good measure), probably to be set after the Winter War, if anyone is interested? **


	19. Happy

**Disclaimer: I own my OC's, not Bleach and its characters.**

Chapter 19: Happy

Sajin Komamura walked through the streets of the Seireitei, a contented smile on his face. In less than two months his life had been turned completely upside down in the best of ways. He had found someone who loved him, and he loved her. She had become his world. He loved her gentle demeanor, her stormy eyes, her passionate heart, even her curious sense of humor.

_One week earlier…_

_Sajin awoke the next morning with a smile on his face and Amaya in his arms. He loved the way it felt to have her body pressed against his, the way she snuggled deeper into his side as she slept. _

_He gently kissed her forehead. He pulled back and realized her eyes were open. "Sorry," he murmured. "I did not mean to wake you."_

_Amaya stretched lazily. "Mmm…" she purred as she wrapped her arms around him. "That's okay; I can sleep any time." Whatever she said after that was lost in a yawn._

_Sajin chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "How about this? You go back to sleep for a while and I will call the servants in to fix some breakfast. Or brunch, at this point." It was already almost noon; Sajin could never remember sleeping that late before. _

_Amaya grumbled a little when she lost her furry pillow but did not waste any time going back to sleep. Sajin dressed and went downstairs. The servants came in and set about making breakfast. They lit a fire in the fireplace to ward off the slight autumn chill in the air. When the food was ready, one of the servants went upstairs to tell Amaya, who came down the stairs a moment later._

"_Are you alright?" he asked her after the servants had brought them their food and retreated back to the kitchen. There was something off about the way she was walking._

_"I'm fine," she said. He noticed she was avoiding his gaze. _

_Sajin raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?" She nodded. "You know, you can sit down any time." Having her standing around looking uncomfortable was making him uneasy._

_Amaya sighed. "No, I don't think I can."_

_Sajin paused. "I don't understand."_

_A bright blush crept over her cheeks. Suddenly she became very interested in studying her food. "Ah, well. I'm just a little…tender. It should go away in a day or so." Sajin tilted his head quizzically, still waiting for an explanation. Amaya huffed, her blush deepening. "Sajin, think about it. You are kind of a big guy." She raised an eyebrow as if to say, _You get it now?

_Sajin blushed when it finally clicked. "Oh," he said, his own food suddenly very interesting as well. "You must think I am very naïve." _

_Amaya pursed her lips. "No. You just need a little more practice in this particular area." She gave him a roguish smile that sent a wave of heat through his body. _

Sajin smiled a little to himself at the memory. The food had been finished off and the servants sent away, their knowing smiles poorly concealed. Sajin and Amaya had made love in front of the fireplace, with Sajin sitting on the floor and Amaya straddling his lap. It was long, slow, and extremely intimate. Afterwards, Amaya had laughed a little before saying quietly, "I won't be able to walk tomorrow."

Both were reluctant to return to work when their time away was up. Their return to the Seireitei had sparked up the rumor mill, but neither one of them seemed to mind. The only comment that affected Sajin in any way came from the Head Captain: "Congratulations," said with a tiny smile.

_It's funny how things work out, _he thought to himself. _I never would have believed anything good could have come from Aizen's betrayl. But i__f Aizen had never betrayed the Soul Society and never used that kido attack against me, Amaya may have never realized how she felt. _He grinned a little. "Amaya?"

"Yes?" She looked at him with her sea-colored eyes, full of love and adoration.

He took her hand in his. He explained to her what he had been thinking. "Remind me to thank Aizen the next time I see him."

Amaya shook her head at him, a little smile on her face.

There was no doubt in his mind that he loved this woman with all of his heart. Because Amaya had taken all of his nightmares away and made the dreams he had never hoped to have come true.

_~~I have had dreams and I have had nightmares, but I have conquered my nightmares because of my dreams. ~Jonas Salk~~_

**AN: The End. Of this part of the story. The sequel is coming soon. Updates will not be as frequent because I will be going back to school soon, and I have a sinking feeling that I am in for a busy year. Thank you all for sticking with me! Hope you have enjoyed reading this. I'll be seeing ya! :)**


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